Bike things I laugh at

Bike things I laugh at.

Paging through an issue of Hot Bike today at the Chicago, O’Hare airport and it struck me how many motorcycle related things I laugh at.  Then I got hit with a nice dose of Zen and realized those same dudes probably get a few laughs out of me.  To each their own right?  Live and let live.  So here are a few things that I find pretty funny and for balance my next post will be some things that other riders likely find funny about me.  Things I laugh at about other riders:

Fairings.  I know I just pissed off most of the people reading this.  Just being honest.  What’s the point when you can’t see the mechanics of the bike because of all the fiberglass and plastic you have bolted on?  Right to protect you from the wind.  I thought that’s what cars were for.  Eh, it’s just me being a purist.  Comments welcomed.  A guy I was riding with this weekend says, “jeez my bike is heavy” I’m like, “no shit you have over 300 pounds of fairings and luggage on that thing.  You going to Sturgis…today?

Embroidered jeans.  On MEN!  No shit, I thought this was only from the 80s ladies Jordache fashion.  Nope, its back.  And dudes are getting into it.  Old dudes.  Is it shock value or maybe they pissed their jeans so they had to use their ol’ lady’s.  Give me my Levis.

Tippie toes.  Tell tale sign is at the red light the motorcycle rider has only one foot on the street (usually the left) and one on the peg (take a guess).  If they put that other foot down…tippie toes!  Dude, get a bike that fits.  Get thicker soled boots.  Get a lower seat.  Why do I laugh…because that seat is crammed up his ass!  Think about it…if your legs are hanging off the bike like that you’re getting a seat wedgie at every stop.  Put that toe down on some oil and you are having a lowside at zero miles per hour.  DOH!  Unless you look like this, get flat footed.

Taking it in for an oil change.  I don’t know man, if you’re going to own a simple machine you got to be able to do the simple stuff.  Oil change, spark plug and wire changes.  Fluids.  Buy the book and give it a shot.  Clear the garage, open the doors and turn on some good music.  You will feel that much more accomplished when you take it out for the next spin.

That hat that looks like you are the skipper.  You know the one that looks like you are wearing an apple pie on your head with a bill that's too small to give any shade from the sun.  Maybe it's a tribute to the confederate soldier uniform but it looks very feminine to me.  

SOA.  People talking about how many sons of anarchy seasons they’ve seen from beginning to end.  Give me a freaking break.  If you like shows about sportsters with bullet fairings and a chick that runs the club go ahead and watch it while you sit there for hours that could be spent on your actual motorcycle.  Then again I watch some bullshit on TV too so whatever.  Just don’t come at me asking what I thought about Gema doing this or some other dude doing that.  I don’t watch that show trying to get ideas of how to look like a motorcyclist.  If you really want to be one go out and ride yours and forget about what you think you’re supposed to look like.

Paid $20 for $90 HD gloves

This is a blog on saving money.  They more we save the more we have for the other stuff in life.  

A couple of weeks ago I found out about an app called "letgo".  That week I made a sale and bagged $400 for a paintball gun we had lying around.  Not too shabby.  If you've ever sold on craigslist, which I have many times let me tell you, this app is much faster to post.  It's take a picture, write a description and click a button.  Done.

So yesterday I was on the app and typed Harley Davidson into the search bar.  Holy smoke, a guy was selling the HD Windshielder Gauntlet gloves for "price negotiable".  These are $90 gloves.  So here's the trick to this app.   You can look at what they have sold before and how much they got for everything.  So I see that the guy sold a couch for $30 and vacuum cleaner for $20.  He also sold an extension chord for a few bucks.  I offered $20 thinking he would come back with $50 but guess what...he says $20 works.  

I picked up a new pair of gloves for $20 just using this app.  Try it out, I also found jackets and other good stuff there.  Just a little money saving tip going into the weekend.  

Harley Owners Group - what I found out suprised me

You know, the first year I had my bike the dealership signs you up for a HOG membership.  I didn't attend any meetings and thought I never would.  Figured they were a bunch of people who wanted to join a "real" club but couldn't get in so they all bought a HOG patch and joined a fake one.  Look man, I'm not passing any judgment - I'm just telling you what I thought.

Then my father in law got into riding and joined the HOGs.  "Oh brother, now this dude joined the HOGs- there's the proof that it ain't for me."  But you know what, when I ride with him it makes my ol' lady happy (I've called her that long before I started riding anyway).  If it makes her happy, I know she's gonna make me happy so me and her pops would go for rides now and then.  One day we met two of his HOG buddies for a ride into the Texas Hill Country.  Cool old guys.

They invited me to check out a meeting- free coffee and donuts what the hell could I lose.  So I went.  They were doing an orientation for new members and my father in law pushed me into the room and told me not to be a pussy.  What?!  Dude, YOU'RE the one in a fake ass club.  I thought about my wife and said screw it I'll sit through this.  Next thing I know they're calling me up in the meeting to intro myself and what I ride.  Oh whatever, meeting's almost over anyway.

But then we went on a ride.  What a trip- and I mean like tripped out.  These people knew of roads in the Texas Hill Country that I would have never found.  We went to lunch and they were actually pretty cool.  Now, I'm one of the youngest in the group- there are over 250 people and I bet at least 70% of them are retired.  Everyone with a bagger (except me on an old fatboy).  But they were happy to share stories of where they've been and where they want to go.

Here's what it comes down to.  These people are far from bullshitters.  They ride.  And they ride a lot. Hanging out with them you get to hear some great stories from the vets and being around more people who ride- well, you get to learn more about motorcycling, events and places to ride than if you tried to go it alone.  At least it shortens your learning curve.

I don't have a vest with all kinds of patches and I don't go to every ride but you know what?  It does have a lot to offer.  I even started wearing my name tag to the meetings.  Oh yeah and we're doing a camp out this spring on the Frio River in TX.  It's a cool group and although my preference is still riding solo at my own timeline, I find myself knowing more about great places to ride by being around these old coots.  Coots on scoots.  Maybe I'll make that my first patch.......Nah!