"Have Another Beer and Shut The Fuck Up"

Someone we'll call "Fake Mother Fucker" had plenty of comments when I first started riding. 

Following are a few of them and best responses.  You might find yourself hearing these if you are a starting rider.  Go ahead, steal some of these...

"Hey cheesy rider."

---Speaking of cheese, why don't you go do something useful and make me a sandwich.

"Those things are dangerous."

---That's life.  By the way, did your daughter tell you about the riding jacket I bought her?  I used the money I was going to spend on motorcycle safety classes.

"I hope you're not thinking about taking (somebody's name) out on that thing."

---Na.  I'm gonna wait til the weekend.  Big storm in the forecast...it's much more exciting that way."

"You're gonna die!"

---Better that way than a heart attack brought on by all that crap you keep shoving in your pie hole.  Have another beer and shut the fuck up.

Funny bit of info:  One of the fools that made a bunch of these comments went out and bought the same model bike as mine 6 months later.  However, his had no brake light, or front / back turn signals.  Ah...cycle envy at it's finest.