Theory Vs.Reality

Kid says to his dad, "What the difference between theory and reality?  Dad says "Ask your sister what she would do for $200."  Sis says, "I'd get down and dirty."  Dad says, now go ask your mom what she'd do for $500."  Mom says, "I'd get down and dirty."  Dad says, "Now you see son in theory we have $700 worth of p*ssy in this house but in reality we just have a couple cheap whores."

Once you get out on the road it's a whole different ball game.  That's when reality sets in.  Here are a few tips and tricks I picked up along the way, many of you might have heard these before but damn it always bears repeating:

Eye cover
Cruising with sunglasses through the park - cool.  Dry eyes on the highway - not.  Of course we are notorious for sacrificing comfort for the cool factor but when it starts to effect your driving ability it's much cooler to ride your bike like a pro than a ho.  It's worth spending money on a good pair of glasses with padding on the inside, or goggles.  If you have a helmet with a visor it's a good eye-dea (shit) to have sunglasses with you anyway in case you are riding into the sun.

Two up riding
Start the bike before she get on.  Have her give you a signal that she is ready to get on and you have a signal back that you are ready for her.  My ol lady taps me on the left shoulder cuz that's the side she gets on and I nod my head if I'm ready for her.  Tell her NOT to lean into turns.  Instead she is to look over the shoulder you are turning through.  This is just enough but not too much.

Elbows bent:
When I first started riding I had my elbows basically locked.  Bend your elbows for better control of your bike.  Sounds counterintuitive but so is counter steering so get used to it. 

Trucks / SUVs
Try not to ride behind them but if you do, try to do these two things. 1) Stay far enough behind so that on-coming traffic can see you.  If you are too close to the back of the truck he may slam on his brakes because the guy in front of him just hit someone, a deer jumped out in front of him or some other thing.  You won't see that because you were too close to the back of the guy.  The other thing that could happen is that oncoming traffic wants to make a left (classic case) and they don't see you following the truck.  Next thing you know - you have to catch an assault case for beating some cager's ass. 2) In keeping with this first point I try to stay in the left side of the lane for better visibility.  If you are too far to the right, again oncoming traffic won't see you and you won't see them.

Sun cover
If it's a t-shirt day I roll up an extra long sleeve shirt and tuck it in the tool pouch.  Days when I thought I wouldn't need it are the days when I needed it the most.  It's nice to get the sun off your skin on those days when you ain't got shit to do but ride all through the city, cruise the Mission Trail, head on up to Boerne and just be a wanderer.

Now go be a bad ass today...